Denver Diary Day 5: Advice

Whew...today was Monday ALL day long!!  Eric's company has been gracious enough to allow him to work remotely from here in Denver, and so he had lots of work to catch up on this morning.  That left me and the boys to find things to keep ourselves busy.  With the awesome playroom and playground here you would think that would be simple.  But being at the Ron McD House means that we are always around people, and social situations are really hard for Cade right now.  I think with the new place, the new schedule, and all of the other changes that have assaulted him over the past several days his tolerance level for any of it has lowered...and that means MELTDOWN!!

And that's pretty much how today went...two meltdowns before lunch.  Fortunately Eric came to the rescue and helped us "change it up a bit" -- we did manage to make it to lunch at Chick-Fil-A today.  Thanks to some awesome friends we were able to use gift cards and have a free meal (thanks Leslie and Leah!).  The boys (and mostly me!) were excited to get out.  The afternoon calmed a bit, but it was a tough day all around.

I have been staring at a quote on the wall of our room since we moved in last Thursday.  From the moment I saw it I knew I would need to blog about it...it speaks volumes to me in this season of my life.  Here's the quote:

Now I'm sure this could mean many different things to everyone.  But for me it is a blatant reminder to be still.  You see, many people love to give us advice about Cade.  Not those who truly know him, but strangers that we see on the street, in a restaurant, or even at the zoo...those who see Cade's invisible disability as simply a behavior problem.  And to give them some credit, it does appear as such.  Seeing a little boy spouting out ugly names and kicking and screaming would appear as if he just needs some good ole-fashioned discipline!!  Unfortunately, they truly have no idea just how hard Cade is struggling to live in his world right now -- just how assaulting everything around him tends to be.  And unfortunately for us those people feel the need to let us know all about what they believe we are doing wrong or how we could better handle the situation.

This used to make me bitter and just plain mad!  I mean, come on people...who gave you the right to assume what is going on with my kid?!  And better yet, who gave you the right to tell me about it?!  But as time has passed (and after MUCH, too MUCH practice!), I have decided on a resounding answer to these well-meaning passersby who truly believe they are helping me.  I simply say to them that Cade has Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism, and things are really hard for him right now, and that he's doing the best he can to regulate himself in this situation. 

Yep...that pretty much shuts them up! :)  But I believe it is not only my right as Cade's mom but my duty to let people know that Cade has real issues.  And you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover -- even a little 4-year-old one who is screaming, hitting, crying, and yelling bad words (thankfully all he knows to this point are "stupid" and "poopy"!!)! 

So thanks again for the reminder, Lord, to be patient and wait, to build with those stones...and to just be still...