Regrouping for reality

What a week it has been!  We got back to Charleston a week ago...and we had to hit the ground running.  With preschool starting for Kai on Tuesday morning and a meeting with the special needs team at the elementary school for Cade, I wasn't really sure which way was up.  I have spent the week getting both boys started in school, trying to get unpacked, and just plain getting back to our reality here.

 Kai was very excited to start to school this year!

And he loves his new lunch box from Nana and Pappy!

On Tuesday I met with the special needs team at the elementary school where Cade will be attending PreK.  We had been agonizing with the decision on where to put Cade this year...the preschool he previously attended just doesn't fit anymore with his special needs.  We knew this year would be a critical one, and I wanted to get it started off right.  I also knew that the public schools have to meet his needs as best that they can, and there's something to be said about having a forced hand.  So the public school won out.  I have had a great relationship with the school psychologist there since May when she first tested Cade...God certainly blessed us with Ms. Beth...so I just closed my eyes and jumped with the whole school situation.

The meeting Tuesday was excellent...the school OT was there as well as the psychologist and Cade's teacher.  All were very receptive to our concerns, and the team even volunteered to create some extra helps for Cade that we had not requested.  All in all I felt very good after leaving the meeting on Tuesday -- I just had to psych myself up for his first day on Thursday.

All I can say is God intervened in such a huge way on Thursday.  Cade goes to school in what is called the "afternoon" session of the PreK there -- 11:20-2:10.  I spent the morning stressing about what "perfect" sensory activities I needed to do with Cade in order to help him be the most regulated that he could be before his first day.  I also spent some time reading a book with him called "The First Day of School" where we talked all about school and put stickers on each page.  I was a basket case...Cade was completely oblivious of what was happening.

Burning off some steam before school starts.

I have often said that God gave special needs kids the ability to be oblivious...to just not even really be aware of what was happening, just to protect them from worrying about it.  Cade knew he was going to "Big Boy School" -- we had talked about it a lot.  But when I talked about it with him on Thursday morning he didn't seem to really get it.  He wasn't nervous or anxious, just the same old Cade hanging out with me. 

So on the way to school I'm praying REALLY HARD....praying that he would not cry when I left him (and that I would not cry when I left him!), praying that he wouldn't have a meltdown when he got into class, praying that his teacher would love him.  But most of all I was praying that he would make friends...that he would fit in with the other kids, who had already been there two weeks and all knew each other.  You see, when Cade meets a new person he typically will hiss or growl at them.  No idea why - it's just what he does.  And now that he's 4 that's going to be a much bigger problem than it has been before. 

So we park and walk up to the sidewalk to wait for the teacher to come out and get the kids to walk them to class.  As I walk up I check with another mom there just to make sure we're in the right place.  That's when she asks about whether this is Cade's first day.  And then the Heavens opened...God sent little Jennifer into our world.  Her daughter walks up to Cade and says, "Hi, my name is Jennifer.  What is your name?"  Ok, so now I'm holding my breath and probably even gritting my teeth, just waiting for the hiss that is sure to follow.  Cade says, "My name is Cade."  You could have knocked me over with a feather. 

I continue to stare at him as he runs around with Jennifer, gets on the yellow line and waits for the teacher, then engages in conversation with her and shows her the book that he has placed in his backpack.  Other than being completely enamoured by the school bus, which he insists he wants to ride, all was pretty calm.  The teacher comes out, the kids all turn around and follow her....and Cade is walking in line taking to Jennifer and the other kids as if he's been there every day of his 4-year-old life.  I swallow the lump in my throat long enough to say to his teacher, "I think I'll just let him walk in from right here," and turn around and head to my car.

Cade is digging in his backpack...

to show his book to his new friend!

Of course I prayed for Cade throughout the rest of his short school day, but he got into the van in the afternoon hot and tired and very hungry, but with no issues from school.  Friday his teacher let me know that things had gone very well, and he was even able to talk about his day to us that night (ok, so all we really know is that they had cookies and carrots for snack and there are something called "work-together horses" on the playground, but that's progress...).

It has taken me this entire week to process coming home from Denver.  I have felt overwhelmed with our changing journey...a little like a deer in the headlights.  It has been a little tough to come home from Denver, where everything was pretty safe, to being on our own here.  And starting school has been emotional for me -- after our experience over the last year it has been hard to trust someone else to take care of my little boy and help him with his special needs.  But I have regrouped, and I have survived our first week.  Now on to our new reality...