Potty Training Boys: 101

We have had a rough evening around here and could use a little humor.  So please indulge me as I craft out a little piece that has been rolling around in my head for oh, say about a month...about the time I started potty training Kai.  Now this isn't my first rodeo...Cade was so hard to train and I thought I would die!  So this time around I was sure I had seen it all...after all, how much easier it will be to train a typical little boy after training one with special needs, right?  Ummm, no.  So here's a little something I have deduced about potty training boys...well, at least potty training my boys...

There are basically 10 things that you should know before beginning to potty train your little boy:

1.  Two-year-old boys will do anything for candy.
2.  Said candy will always fall into the toilet.
3.  Said two-year-old boy will always reach into the toilet to collect the fallen candy.
4.  You must be quick to collect the candy from said two-year-old's hand before he gets it to his mouth.
5.  No matter how many times you sing "The Potty Dance" the two-year-old will not use the potty on command.
6.  The tricks to make the two-year-old use the potty, like turning on the water in the sink, will not make the two-year-old use the potty...they will, however, cause you to go running into the other bathroom rather quickly.
7.  Sitting on the potty and reading books for an extended amount of time begins at a very young age...like around two years old...and it never stops.
8.  Flushing the toilet is perhaps one of the most exciting things two-year-old boys will do in the potty...and actually using the potty is not required for this action.
9.  The wonderful sticker chart that you made and the stickers you so carefully picked out for the occasion, though a nice touch, are a novelty that two-year-old boys could do without...refer to #1.
10.  Hand-washing is not a normal part of a two-year-old boy's plan after using the potty...you must remain steady with feet firmly planted while wrestling said two-year-old boy in one hand, managing the small toddler stool designed to help said boy reach the sink while not killing your leg on it, and turn on the faucet/apply soap/dry hands with the other hand.  ALERT:  When said two-year-old boy determines how to do this action alone prepare to fish him out of the sink numerous times throughout the day.

Here's to all the moms who have ever, or who will ever, potty train a little boy..."May the odds be ever in your favor!" (ok, so I stole this from The Hunger Games...but don't you think it's fitting here?)

*I would love to hear your potty training stories...I could use some encouragement, ideas, and just plain comic relief!!*